We can't leave cat conflicts ?up to the cats.? | Way of Cats blog

I have a lovely bunch of cats. As I illustrated in Crisis in Cat Civilization, the four of them work together beautifully, almost all the time.

It?s those times when they don?t that I have to step in. Otherwise, Cat Town could fall apart.

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But they are all such sweet cats, who have such a nice home. Do I really have to work at keeping them friends?

Yes, but I don?t have to work hard.

I simply have to be alert to potential problems, and defuse them while they are still barely noticeable. Just as toddlers, without guidance, wind up smacking each other out of frustration, so our cats, without guidance, will resort to Rules of the Jungle if they are not getting their points across.

James the Grump. For most of his kittenhood, James Bond was part of a large group of cats, and left alone, the way he liked it. Then, in a dramatic reversal, he lived with only one other cat, Smokepuff, who mostly ignored him, the way he liked it.

Then, when James was already ten years old, we got Reverend Jim; then Olwyn; then Tristan. And they all wanted to tackle his head and disembowel him. He hates that!

Fortunately, there were always other cats that a playful kitten could be guided to instead. Fortunately, I was there to remind the kittens that James doesn?t like being Ritually Slain.

As they grew in mental power, and their playful instincts abated somewhat, they all learned that they could interact with James by using ways he liked. Some, like Olwyn, learned very quickly. Some, like Tristan, took a little longer. But without me protecting him, James would have been even more grumpy, and would have to hide a lot more, and miss out on human affection, which would make him really grumpy.

That wouldn?t be fair to James.

Reverend Jim the Clueless. While Reverend Jim arrived at our home with his big ol? heart operating properly, the social skills for getting that heart a big ol? hug were defective. He used to reach out to both James Bond and Smokepuff by bothering them, because he didn?t know any other way.

It was my job to sweetly praise RJ when he sat and watched Puffy; when he cuddled up to James Bond without gnawing on his head, too. We came up with games RJ and Puffy could play together, like fishing treats out of the puzzle box or taking turns with the wand toy.

This is how RJ discovered he could feel close to Puffy by simply sitting near him; and they both basked in the glow of friendship. RJ learned his frantic attempts at closeness did not work; that his calm reaching, did. He learned to play with humans, and also by himself, with his favorite method being two toys stacked on top of each other, for a real challenge. If we hadn?t guided him, he would never have learned how to make cat friends.

That wouldn?t be fair to Reverend Jim.

Olwyn the Nag. She?s bossy. There?s no two ways about it. When defusing a situation that her too-much-bossing created, I remind the other cats that ?she bosses us around, too!?

My favorite tactic is to back Olwyn up, but more diplomatically. She wants RJ to do as she asks? Well, it is his turn to amuse ?the baby.? I?ll help. Did she knock things off of every surface in the bedroom in the dead of night? Well, the kitchen is torn up over a leaky pipe, and when I explain this to her, she will calm down. Then, so will the other cats.

The fact is, we are fortunate to have such a sweetheart, who cares so much, who contributes to the smooth running of the house far more than she disrupts it. If I didn?t back her up, these organizational skills couldn?t be expressed properly.

That wouldn?t be fair to Olwyn.

Tristan the Playful Harasser. Then, there?s the beanhead. We love him because he?s a beanhead, and in spite of his being a beanhead. In an ideal situation, he?d be overdue for getting a small rowdy kitten to amuse himself with. But we didn?t plan on having four, and we really can?t have five.

So at least once a day, more if we can manage it, we play him into the ground to help the other cats, who are also playing him into the ground. James won?t play the games at all, Olwyn wears out quickly, and RJ is worried about going too far. Even with the other cats, Tristan needs supervision as much as he needs play. And we can?t ask him to play, less.

That wouldn?t be fair to Tristan.

At any point, during our policing of our own Cat Town, the most important operative principle is the same as any Sheriff of any old western town. That would be fairness.

Every cat gets a shot at a relaxing dinnertime, a great seat at the best window, all the cuddling they could want in the way they want it. If we have to fuss to make sure; then we fuss.

It?s worth it. For everyone.

For more overview on the Cat Town concept, see my seminal early post, The Boss of Cat Town.

Understand how cats influence each other with Cats in Space.

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Source: http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/i-am-the-boss-of-cat-town/18103

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